


If We Could Feel

by SkeleVin



Category: Hollow Knight (Video Games)
Genre: Dirtmouth (Hollow Knight), F/F, F/M, Gen, Hollow Knight - Freeform, M/M, Multi, One Year Later, Other, Post-Dream No More Ending (Hollow Knight), Sealed Siblings Ending (Hollow Knight)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:42:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27798676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkeleVin/pseuds/SkeleVin
Summary: A year has passed since Ghost took Hollow's place.  They sat as their sibling once did, in chains inside the Temple of the Black Egg, the Radiance trapped within them.  Hornet took her mother's place as a Dreamer.  Quirrel left Hollownest to pursue more knowledge.  Dirtmouth, though still very small, remained untouched by infection.Enter a new vessel.  This one knows it's purpose but does not want anything to do with it.  So why return here?  All they want is to live life like any other bug.  Maybe - just maybe - they can do that here back in Hollownest.
Relationships: Grimm & The Knight (Hollow Knight), Nailsmith/Nailmaster Sheo (Hollow Knight), grimm/oc
Comments: 9
Kudos: 9





	1. The Arrival

The vessel stared down the path they were meant to take. Unlike the vessels before them, they were aware of their purpose, they were one of thousands of failed progeny of the Pale King, they were one of the lucky few who had escaped the Abyss and now they felt the pull to return to Hollownest and take on their role. However, this vessel, though they followed the pull at this moment, did not want to do so.

As they made their way through King's Pass, lesser bugs, none of which were infected, would attack. The vessel would draw their nails, long swords, worn and cracked from years of use, and defend themselves. Each time they would kill one of these bugs, the vessel would wince and lower it's head as if it felt the pain it inflicted upon these lesser beings. Even if they did not want to carry out their purpose, the vessel did not resign themself to death. They wanted to live, as any normal bug would, so self preservation was a must. It wasn't long before the vessel came to the end of King's Pass, they had to squint from their position above, in order to just make out the little town far below. That would be their first stop, it looked charming even in it's dull emptiness. The vessel jumped down landing on their feet and brushed themselves off once they reached the bottom. There was a trail that led to the town. They checked themself for any injuries from the fall, but found none before starting the walk down the path.

It didn't take long for them to reach the mangled gate with an equally mangled sign that read “Dirtmouth”. Not far from that spot stood an old bug under a lamp and next to him was an iron bench. They walked over, lightly kicking a small stone as they walked. The sound of the stone rolling along the path caught the attention of the old bug. He saw the vessel, not thinking much of them really. They weren't remarkable in any way except perhaps the two worn nails on their back. Probably looking for adventure or wealth or some other promise down that well farther up the path. The vessel walked till it stood next to the old bug, they looked at him and tilted their head, curious who he was, but not having the words to ask.

“Ho there, traveler, welcome to Dirtmouth. Our town's fallen quiet you see - with the exception of just a few of us. The rest,, they've all disappeared. Headed down that well, one by one, into the caverns below.” the bug began. The vessel looked in the direction of the well a moment. They felt the pull, stronger now than before, but they ignored it and returned their attention to the old bug and nodded, signifying they were following what he said and that he could continue. “Used to be there was a great kingdom beneath our town. It has long fallen to ruin, yet it still draws folks into its depths. Wealth, glory, enlightenment, that darkness seems to promise all things. I'm sure you too seek your dreams down there. Well watch out. It's a sickly air that fills the place. Creatures turn mad and travelers are robbed of their memories. Perhaps dreams aren't such great things after all...”

The vessel lowered their head in response, they could dream, they remembered dreaming once, it was pleasant to them. This old bug, maybe he just didn't understand dreams or perhaps his dreams never came to pass. Perhaps he was just a bitter old bug. They looked back up and to the bench, they wondered silently if it was alright to sit there. Perhaps it wasn't meant for sitting. Perhaps a monument of some sort. The old bug watched the vessel a moment before speaking again, “It may be iron, but it's quite comfortable. Why don't you sit and rest a while before you head down that well?” That was all they needed to hear. They nodded, hoping they were able to convey their gratitude through it before sitting down to rest a moment. The old bug was right, the bench was indeed comfortable, regardless of the material it was made of. It relaxed their aches and pains, or so it seemed. It was nice. The vessel knew, however, that they could not stay there. They did not want to go down into the well to fulfill their purpose, but they did want to explore, they wanted to see where it was they came from. They wanted to be a part of this world and see what it had to offer. The old bug watched the vessel closely for a moment, “You're going to go down there aren't you, stranger?” he asked, knowing the answer all too well.

They looked to the old bug and nodded and attempted to communicate with hand gestures that they would return often. The old bug nodded, getting the idea of what the stranger in front of him was attempting to say. “It'll be nice to have you come back, none have who have gone down so far, but you seem the determined type.”  
If the vessel could smile, they would have. They stood and offered their hand to the old bug. This is what bugs did,yes? Shake hands in farewell? Or maybe not. They had no idea.

The old bug reached out and shook the vessel's hand “See you when you come back, stranger. Oh! I nearly forgot to introduce myself. The old bug reached out and shook the vessel's hand “See you when you come back, stranger. Oh! I nearly forgot to introduce myself. I'm Elderbug, at least that's what people call me here.”

The vessel nodded as they shook hands before attempting to communicate that they had no name.

Elderbug tilted his head “Perhaps you have amnesia, friend. Exploring down there may help you gain some memories back.”

The vessel nodded in response, not wanting to attempt explaining that they just did not have a name, that they had not been good enough for such a gift from their father, the Pale King. They waved goodbye to Elderbug before heading in the direction of the well. They stopped and peered into the well, they couldn't see and the only sound present was the sound of the sickly sweet air from below. The vessel took a deep breath before jumping over the side of the well and falling down, and thus began the journey of an extremely self-aware vessel.


	2. Forgotten Crossroads, Recalled Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The vessel leaves Dirthmouth and begins their journey through the Forgotten Crossroads. What they find isn't the most pleasant sight - or smell - to witness, but they move forward anyway. Along the way they meet new faces and recall old ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter 2!  
> I wasn't sure I'd have this chapter out on time but I did it.  
> A big thank you to my amazing friend undergrounddweller89 over on Tumblr. She's helped me a whole lot with getting ideas and lore straight. Thank you friend you've been a life saver! If you have a tumblr you should check her out, she's fun to interact with and her art is *chef's kiss*
> 
> Chapter 3 will be a walk down memory lane with another character. Some chapters will be like that, switching from the main story to certain characters' backstories so you all have a better idea of the characters I introduce that are not canon.

The vessel landed on their feet once again at the bottom of the well. Before them laid a path that stretched for some miles, and behind them another path. They also saw a sign that read “Forgotten Crossroads”. The name certainly made sense at this moment what with the decay and the bubbles of what looked like some sort of oozing, puffing infection. The vessel actually gagged as the smell hit them hard. It was putrid, like someone had tired to cover a decaying corpse with sugar. They looked between each path, not sure which to take but eventually they decided to go to the left. Along the way they were attacked by lesser bugs, and bugs that didn't seem themselves; more like shadows of their former selves. On those bugs were the same bubbles that littered the path, which only confirmed to the vessel that this was indeed an infection of some sort. The vessel hated to do it, but again they didn't want to die, nor did they desire to be infected by whatever these bugs carried. They were not ready for such a fate, not when they wanted to live a life. A normal life, like they had once dreamed about. When they weren't fighting for their life on the path, they took the time to think back on that dream. They had a nice little home and loved ones around them. They were – what was the word? Happy. Yes, that was it, happy. They knew of emotions like happiness, and at times they thought they could feel them, but if they did it was in fleeting moments. Perhaps, they thought, that could change.

It didn't take long for the vessel to come to a building along the path. Above the entrance was carved a single face, It looked worn, perhaps there had once been some pretty adornment in that space, maybe someone stole it, or perhaps it had been carved to look that way This building, too, was covered in the infection They thought a moment of how many people could have gathered at this very place and how many had fallen to this infection at this very spot. They sighed at the thought of it before deciding to go into the building to see what was inside. When they entered the building it was empty save for something large and black in the middle, it looked similar to an egg and the same face at the top of the entrance was etched into the top of this egg-shaped thing, inside the etching was a white mask like adornment. The vessel walked up and placed their hand on the egg and went wide-eyed as images flashed before their eyes - another vessel – Much larger than they were. Wearing pale armor. - This was – This is what the vessel knew they were meant to be, but this particular vessel wasn't them. It was another. A sibling. They saw the Pale King – and then chains – and then – Her. The Radiance. Then another vessel. Much smaller than the first, much smaller than them. A fight and then, more chains. Then he saw a flash of a red cloak and the face that was etched into the building and the egg, full of – what was that- what was that look? The vessel didn't know. They heard a voice, a feminine voice, whisper to them “You can break this cycle. You have to break this cycle and end this once and for all.” They backed away from this egg, shaking. They shouldn't be here, this is not where they wanted to be. Anywhere but in this place, this was connected to the fate they did not want. They made their way to the exit only to run into something - no someone! They fell back, as did the other bug that had entered the building. “Watch out!” a soft feminine voice shouted in surprise.

The vessel quickly stood and helped the other bug up onto their feet and tried to convey an apology. The bug they'd run into was a young, adult pill bug. She wore a blue bandanna on her head and carried a small nail at her side. She looked up at the vessel who was quite a bit taller than she was, watching them closely as they frantically tried to apologize without words. She puts her hands up to signal them to stop, “It's okay, no harm done. You must have been in some hurry to get out of here if you didn't see me coming in. This place not sit well with you, then?” she asked the vessel.

They shook their head in response, really wanting to get out.

“How about we both step out, there's a little ledge we can sit on just back that way if you want,” she offers.

She watched as this tall, strange bug considered her offer before nodding. She smiled and walked out of the building with them following close behind. They went back a bit to a ledge, the corpses of two bugs the vessel had killed lying below them. “I'm Icha, by the way. Sorry I forgot to introduce myself. And you – You don't look like one who has a name,” she states.

The vessel stared at her, surprised that she seemed to be reading them like a book. They nodded slowly.

“Thought so. I know you – I mean, what you are. My teacher taught me all about this place and its history. I'm surprised any of it is still standing at this rate.” Icha spoke as if she were deep in thought.

The vessel sat in silence, as it was all they could do besides the occasional nod or hand gesture.

Icha looked at them and smiled, “You seem really nice compared to a lot of the bugs I've met down here. If I can help you in any way, seek me out. I'll be around these caverns somewhere,” she said with a smile that the vessel could actually see. Icha's mask did not cover her whole face and so it was easy to see her smile and be expressive.

They nodded, and expressed their thanks to Icha with a head tilt and two slow blinks.

“Whatever you decide to do now, just know, I've got your back, friend,” she said before standing up and stretching. “I better get back to exploring some more, I'm sure I'll find something that might even be useful to you,” she grinned. “See you around!” she said before heading off down the path the vessel had not chosen earlier.

The vessel stood and made a mental note to go that way at some point in their own exploration of Hollownest. They turned back in the direction they had initially been heading and continued on their way. There were a few more bugs – no they couldn't be called that anymore, they were too far gone. These were husks that were once bugs. Each time they ran at them, the vessel would take them out with their nails or simply let the things run into the nearest wall and explode in a barrage of shell, guts, and infection.

It wasn't long before the vessel stopped walking, before them was an opening in the ground that lead – well somewhere they assumed. Ahead of them laid what looked to be some sort of room. They thought they could hear voices coming from that area, and for a moment they stood, contemplating on whether or not they should continue forward or begin the climb down into wherever that opening in the floor led. Perhaps up ahead were more friendly bugs like Icha, then again, they could be husks like ones the vessel had already had to dispose of. If they could spare some lives they would. They did not like having to kill, even if it was for self preservation. It hurt them to have to kill or to put themself and others in harms way. For a moment the vessel remembered when they first came to being:

_They were in a room; much younger and much smaller than they were now, along with a few other vessels, not far from them sat the White Lady. While the others played with toy swords or other play weapons, they sat quietly in a corner playing with a hand sewn doll that looked similar to them. The vessel wasn't sure how much time had passed, but when they looked up, they were the only child in the room. It was them and the White Lady, alone. They stood up and walked away from their little corner and up to the White Lady, who looked down at them, a gentle look in her eyes. “You're the only one left of the batch, little one. Are you nervous?” she asked._

_The vessel shook their head before tilting it to the side, wondering why they would feel nervous right now. They were here in the White Palace with their mother, content. Happy._

_“You sweet innocent creature – you have no idea – how I wish I could save you. All of you,” the White Lady said as she gently patted the vessel on the head._

_They blinked as her hand gently came into contact with their head. They didn't understand. Save them? Save them from what? Suddenly the door behind them was thrown open, the light shined brightly and the vessel could just barely make out the silhouette of their father, the Pale King. The White Lady removed her hand from their head as her husband approached. He looked down at the vessel, he looked disappointed as he stared down at them. “Is this the last one?” he asked his wife._

_“Yes, they are the last of the batch,” she answered sadly._

_The vessel looked between their parents, unsure what was happening, but thought perhaps they would get some one-on-one time with their father for the first time. “Come with me,” the Pale King said curtly before turning and heading for the open door again. The vessel looked back to the White Lady, head tilted curiously._

_“Go on, little one, do not keep your father waiting,” she said gently. They nodded before hugging their doll and handing it to her. She smiled sadly as she watched the little vessel rush off after the Pale King. They walked down the hall behind their father in silence for some time before curiosity got the better of them. They moved a bit faster so that they were walking beside their father and lightly tugged on his robe._

_“Hm? What is it?” the Pale King asked, looking to the vessel now. He watched as they gestured, attempting to communicate a question. “You want to know where we are going?” he asked. The vessel nods eagerly. “You'll see soon enough” he said. He was cold toward the little vessel and that made them slow down a bit. Did their father not care for them? They continued to walk behind their father, starting to worry about what was going to happen. Their worry soon turned to fear as the Pale King stopped in front of another door and opened it, revealing an expansive room full of spikes, buzz saws and other perils. The vessel backed up a bit, afraid; suddenly, they knew. They knew what was to happen next. Their father expected them to move through this room._

_The Pale King turned to look at the little vessel before walking to them with two small nails in his hands. He strapped them to the the vessel's back “You have your weapons, the tools you need to make it through the Path of Pain. Make your way through and back to me. Prove to me that you are truly hollow and capable of taking down the Radiance” he said, his voice full of cold authority. The vessel stepped back, shaking their head as they hugged themself tightly. “Do it, child” the Pale King pressed, already losing his patience. A black inky substance spilled from the vessel's eyes. Were they crying? The Pale King rubbed his temples in frustration. “You must,” he insisted, but the vessel did not budge, only holding themselves tighter in fear. There was no other choice, the Pale King sighed and calmed himself, “Very well, little one, you do not have to go through the Path of Pain. Lets go for a walk.”_

_They followed their father for some time, how long they were not sure, coming to a place that was dull and dark and a bit perilous, but the King was kind enough to pick up the vessel and carry them through those parts. Eventually they came to a ledge in a room. The Pale King moved and gestured for the vessel to stand at his side. “This is the Abyss,” he began to explain. It is where you come from. Below us is void and shadow, it is what you are made of, it is what those before you were made of, and it is what those after you will be made of. The vessel looked down below and saw nothing but blackness. They couldn't see the bottom. It scared them, but they nodded their understanding regardless. “I'm afraid that it is also where you must return,” the Pale King said. The vessel turned to look at their father again, only to be lifted off the ground by their cloak. They struggled to be set free, but the Pale King's grip was like stone. “Like many before you, you are a failure, you are not hollow, and so you must be returned from whence you came.” he hissed before tossing the vessel off the ledge. If they could have cried out, they would have, but the vessel could not. They watched as the Pale King faded from their view, black tears welling up again as everything went black._

The vessel shook their head and wiped at the black tears that streamed down their face. The Pale King hadn't cared about any of his children. All he had cared about was stopping the infection, stopping the Radiance. They didn't know if they could blame him or not; he had wanted to save the kingdom of Hollownest from a horrible fate. He didn't think about how it would affect the children he made, how these “failures” would feel about being cast down into darkness in such a cruel way.

After a moment of collecting themselves, the vessel hopped over the gap and moved forward , knelt and had to crawl through a space that would have been just tall enough had they been their smaller size. Up ahead the vessel could hear the sound of heavy, marching footfalls and what sounded like crying. They continued to move forward, it sounded like someone was in real trouble and they couldn't stand the thought of leaving them there, to abandon them to whatever fate they were facing. They came to the other side, not yet leaving their crawling space as they took the time to take in the scene. Before them laid a small room, the first thing they noticed was a large, armored bug marching back and forth, a club of sorts swung over their shoulder. They marched back and forth in front of what looked like a large jar, and inside that jar sat something similar to the vessel. It too was made of void, it did not wear a mask, or a cloak.. They looked worn and tired, and the vessel could see that this void creature was indeed crying. The vessel took a deep breath and crawled out of the space, keeping close to the wall. The large bug that guarded the jar continued to pace, it didn't seem to notice the vessel at first and they took the opportunity to draw their nails, if the smaller bugs were so ready to attack them, this big one would definitely take the opportunity as well.

The being in the jar looked up, noticing movement. He couldn't quite see the vessel in the shadows by the wall, but he could sense them. A being similar to himself. They watched quietly, hoping that this being would save him, but he didn't expect it, he'd done horrible things to the bugs of Hollownest and now he was in the same prison he'd placed so many others in. He went wide-eyed as he noticed the being move forward. Was this being going to break him free of him prison? It wasn't long before he could see the vessel's full figure now, both nails at the ready as they slowly, cautiously made their way toward him. They got about a foot or two away from the wall before the Husk Guard noticed them and went on the attack. Those nails didn't look like they would do much for the vessel, but they held their own, moving as quickly as they could to avoid getting hit and slashing when there was an opening. The vessel fell back a few times as they were hit with shock wave attacks from the Husk Guard. It was a long battle, but eventually the vessel managed to kill the Husk Guard. They stood a moment to catch their breath and check their injuries before looking again to the jar and the being who was locked inside. The being watched as the vessel came closer. He moved a bit toward the back of the jar and ducked hi head down. He worried what would happen next. Would he be freed and be allowed to go, or would this being decide to execute him for his crimes against the other residents of Hollownest. He heard the glass of the jar breaking around him, heard it fall to the floor. Somehow none of the glass touched him. He heard the vessel move down to their knees. He slowly lifted his head to see the vessel kneeling in front of him. They gestured to him, trying to ask if he was alright. He nodded in response and the vessel offered him their hand which he took cautiously. The vessel helped him move away from the glass and toward the other end of the room.

“Thank you, stranger,” he said. “I've been in that jar for far too long. Thank you. What is your name? I'd like to thank you more properly.”

The vessel shook their head and tried to convey to the other that they did not have a name.

“I see, the King, he did not give you a name, like he gave me.” he said thoughtfully.

The vessel tilted his head, surprised that this stranger knew so much.

“That's alright, I am- ah – I was called The Collector. Like you, the Pale King made me for a purpose. I was to help preserve Hollownest, but – well I became over zealous in my work. I became obsessed, blind to the pain I was causing others by kidnapping them and placing them in jars just like the one you broke. It was a knight – perhaps one of your own ilk that made me realize how wrong I was, how far away from my true objective I'd strayed. It took them nearly killing me for me to realize the error of my ways. I regret everything. I hope now that I can do something to right the wrongs I've done. Perhaps by freeing others who have been captured by my replacement. You see, I am not the only Collector. Like you, there are many of my ilk, and because I technically failed, one came to replace me and do the job himself. That's how I ended up in the jar - ” he explained.

The vessel nodded as they listened, the only way they could let the other know that they were indeed listening and interested in what he was saying.

He continued, “You are far different from the one I met before. Not because of your height, or your mask, those are obvious, but – You seem more aware than they had been. You seem to know what you want, rather than following some predestined path blindly. Let me impart to you some advice I should have followed myself a long time ago. Don't let your duty take over the entirety of who you are. Even if you're not sure who you are yet, don't let duty define it. It's only a small part of you, if it's even a part of you at all. Remember that friend, and good luck with whatever it is you do.” With those words of wisdom imparted to their savior, he left. The vessel stood for some time after his departure and contemplated his words. _“Don't let your duty take over the entirety of who you are.”_ They were simple words but they hit the vessel hard. This is exactly what they were doing their best not to do. They didn't want to be stuck performing this duty, they wanted so much more for themselves. They were determined to have their dream realized, to see those happy faces, not blurred, to know who they were and love them with every bit of their being. That is why they had returned and that is what they swore to themselves they were going to do.

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, thank you for checking out this story, it means a lot!  
> It isn't much but I really hope you like the introduction to this fic.  
> There will be a lot more to come, lots of new characters to see and learn about.  
> I will do my best to upload at least one chapter biweekly.  
> Till next time!


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